What does it feel like to become 40 years old?Well, it feels fantastic!
I always found myself in the middle of friends' gatherings to celebrate when all of us turned 10, then 20, and then 30... and I always heard them ask the same question: "I am turning ___ and what have I really acocomplished in my life?" and I always kept quiet, saying to myself: "well, I do't know about you, but I have accomplished lots of things!"
I have never understood why people feel they haven't accomplished anything when they turn a certain age. I see my family and close friends, and I see them so beautiful and sweet and successful, that I can't help thinking that they are perfect! they are alive, generally healthy, they have their 5 senses intact, and they have reasons to live, and to be thankful to life for that.
This year, for my 40th birthday, I decided to spend my post-birthday weekend with my best friend -like my little sister-, at the beach, to celebrate both our birthdays, actually, only she is muuuch younger than me.
Turning 40 feels to me like starting to know, little by little, how to play the game!
See, there are many advantages about becoming 40!
At 40, you know that your main strength is not your surface, but what is within. And no, I am not just saying this.. it feels great! you start to really-really trust yourself, your experience, and your instinct.
At 40, you already know if you believe in God or not. If you don't believe in God, it's great because you keep everything practical and you speak your mind without reservations; but if you believe in God (or Gods --as in my beloved India--, or whatever you name your version of Divinity), you feel sheltered, stronger, hopeful, and the best of all: it ALL starts to make sense (believe me).
At 40, you already know not only how to make ends meet, but how to make a living, and how to take those paths that will take you to wherever it is you want to go in your professional ladder.
At 40, you change your home, your location, your wardrobe, your hairstyle or even your lifestyle because you feel like it, and you can wear glasses just because you like them (not because you really-really need them), or you change your job just because you don't really-really love it, and because you can afford it.
At 40 (check this out), people actually believe what you say! for some reason, your voice acquires this special charm that makes others listen, not only because of your experience in the matter, but also in life, so try to say somethng smart!
At 40, you know how the art of seduction works, and that is such a relief!! For instance, women no longer need to get some guy's approval, or wear things to look sexy, or say or do things that will attract men (usually the wrong men). They simply attract. Remember: you don't attract what you want; you attract what you are.
At 40, you can decide whether you'll have kids or not, and very rarely can aaaanyone have a word about that decision, You know how to live your life and well, you either visualize yourself with kids, or not, and you rest assured that if it's meant to be, so shall be. Simple.
At 40, you give yourself 'permission'. Remember that Eat, Pray, Love movie scene in which the Italian guys talk about the expression "Dolce Far Niente"?
... well, you simply decide to give yourself time to do absolutely nothing when you feel like, knowing you assume the consequences with ease. Craving for food? you eat; craving for changes? you change; craving for relaxation? you relax. And the best part: zero guilt.
At 40, you kiiiiind of start to plan what the rest of your life is going to be like, and where you'll travel, and whether you'd prefer to settle down (or not), and whether you'll have a dog or not, and whether you want to own a house or not...
At 40, you already know what to do about your Wanderlust, and what to do about your dreams to travel around the world! You check the places in the world (on that world map you once bought) where you've been, and those where you don't want to die without visiting. You've been all over in your country, and seen, say, fragments of 17 countries around the world, you've tasted weird food, heard strange languages, grayed hair over stress when facing ordeals abroad, and fallen in and out of love in other cities, but you want more, much more, because that 'you' is someone different in every country! oh.. the world....
At 40, you really-really become aware of a few physical problems that are not about to improve, but you finally decide to face them and start taking care of your health, including that hand cream you know you need after you turned 30, some shoulder pain you have had since you started accumlating bad emotions, and that hip problem you've had since childhood, so you know you must heal inside before your body heals ourside and, luckily, you know how to do it, and to what extent it may heal.
At 40, you realize how fragile parents, friendships and romantic relationships can be, so you act and choose accordingly, and much more wisely.
At 40, you start to keep only those friendships that help you grow as a person (and of course, those who allow you to be that awesome 'silly you' that you love so much).You can already determine who has a toxic behavior, and who should stay in your life. Tough, but healthy.
At 40, you start thinking of a back-up plan in case you get sick of 'that job' you've always had and which you've always loved.. but you never know...
At 40, you are of help to several people, and you understand that service to others is what everyone should do more of. And you actually try to do more service to others,whether it be listening to them,doing them a huge favor, or donating an organ.
At 40, you can start and decline relationships, or stay single, because that's what your heart, body, mind and soul indicate is the best option at the time. At 40, you like yourself so much that you no loger need to feel alone. Aaaaaand-it's-greaaaaat!
At 40, you can talk about pretty much anything! jobs, family, birth control, carreer, money, global warming, politics, religion, nutrition, travel plans, relationships, orgasms, plans, frustrations, obsessions, confessions, medications, meditations, you name it!
At 40, you no longer get offended (ok.. not so offended) by what people say, or if they disagree with you aggressively, because you tend to understand people who have different perspectives, and you can more easily perceive that their reactions come from their own thoughts and emotions... plus you already know how to convince people anyway with your own tricky strategies ;)
At 40, you no longer need to lie, and you can apologize to people if necessary, and mean it. You can tell people (on their face) that you like them or even lust after them, you can tell your beloved friend Dimitri hoe much you miss him (and love him), you can tell your soulmates that you love them since the first moment you found each other again, and you say it from the bottom of your heart.
At 40, you understand that sometimes, all you can do is pray for those soulmates who you won't be able to see anymore in this lifetime. And you let go, but you know you are eternally connected, so even if it seems like your heart breaks again, you finally understand that love and suffering cannot coexist, and that some kinds of love are, indeed, everlasting.
At 40, you start to understand that you are simply a piece of the game, and destiny will take you where you are meant to be, at the right place, at the right time, under the right circumstances, with the right people --or perhaps you'll be alone, and 'alone' won't necessarily mean 'lonely'.
At 40, you feel that the best part of your life is just starting, because you finally know what you never knew, and you start to appreciate the wisdom that 4 decades have given you.
At 40, you start to speak less, and listen more to your soul, and you start to become aware.
At 40, you are not starting to get old; you are starting to become a 'classic'!
