Sunday, October 2, 2016

"Colombia le dijo NO a los acuerdos de Paz"

Que los Colombianos le dijeron "No a la Paz"? realmente se votó en contra de unos acuerdos de Paz particulares en este momento histórico, pero no creo que sea prudente generalizar con esos términos, ni que estos resultados cancelen toda posibilidad de renegociación.

Yo no voy a decir nada en contra de "los del Sí" ni de "los del No", porque cada uno tiene (idealmente) argumentos válidos, y sé que no hay un Colombiano genuinamente bueno que no desee vivir en paz por sí mismo/a y por su familia.

No es que me sorprenda tanto ya que haya ganado el "No" a los acuerdos, en medio de tanta información confusa al respecto, y después de tantos años de guerra, y sabiendo que, en cualquiera de los casos, escuchar a los que leyeron todo y creerles a los medios es más fácil que analizar tan complejos acuerdos. Existen tantos argumentos, tantas desafortunadas perspectivas, y tan poca lectura y educación en esta, la que yo llamo  "La Soberana República del Fútbol y el Reggaetón", que donde parecen ser más importantes el consumismo, los intereses propios, lo sensorial y externo, que la introspección, la compasión, y el cultivar valores humanos. Sin embargo, no deja de sentirse desolador, más que por los resultados en sí, por ver la guerra de nuevos bandos entre nosotros.
Yo quiero---corrijo: he decidido pensar en un país donde se logren ajustes para que "los dos bandos" ya no sean el del "Sí" y el "No" como hoy, sino los que están en cotnra de la paz, y los que estamos a favor de ella. Simple. Sin bandos.

Si, aquí en este país nací esta vez, pero no voy a decir que estoy orgullosa o no de ser Colombiana, porque no elegimos dónde nacemos, ni podemos juzgar a todo un país, ni es justo cuestionar nuestra propia identidad por las acciones de otros ni de todo un colectivo ni, mucho menos, por toda la historia de una nación. Yo sigo siendo la misma de ayer, y aún tengo el alma intacta, sin importar donde esté. Yo no promuevo la guerra, así que estoy orgullosa, pero no creo que haya 'ganadores' en esta jornada electoral.

Lo que sí creo es que ver que la mayoría de regiones y municipios que REALMENTE han sufrido la guerra frente a sus ojos (y quienes han visto morir a sus familias a causa de guerras ajenas) votaron por el "Sí". Eso es conmovedor. Votaron por el Sí! por perdonar, por apostarle a algo nuevo! Son sus voces las que me interesa oír ahora, pues son ellos, las víctimas directas, quienes deberían salir beneficiados de los acuerdos. Ellos son los que inspiran a los que aún tenemos la esperanza de la paz, y si se ha de dar una renegociación que nos acerque a la paz.

Yo viví la guerra de los narcos en los 80's, cuando en Bogotá no podíamos ir a ningún lado (sólo de la casa al colegio y viceversa) porque ponían bombas en cada sitio público, para enumerar más muertos; el miedo con el que vivíamos (especialmente, nuestras madres), y los eventos que, en su momento, anticiparan casi proféticamente las sátiras de Jaime Garzón; y no poder salir de Bogotá, por el miedo a los atracos en los buses, los secuestros si una familia tenía carro propio, y la imposibilidad de andar por nuestras propias carreteras y visitar a nuestros familiares. Sin embargo, nunca viví la guerra como mis compatriotas en esas regiones. La vida para mí ha sido mucho más fácil después de esa época, claro, y ahora, detrás de un escritorio, uno podría sentirse 'seguro';  bajo un techo alquilado, con luz, agua y electricidad, y con comida en la nevera, uno debería sentirse muy afortunado, pero realmente quienes han vivido la guerra son otros: las víctimas directas de 52 años de guerra en Colombia, mi país.

Entonces ahora no nos queda más que... hablar mal del país y llamarlos a todos ignorantes en las redes sociales? criticar las opiniones de los amigos que queremos porque son ajenas a las nuestras? acaso ayuda eso? acaso es verdadero y útil? acaso es eso un ejemplo de la paz de la que hablamos tanto? NO. Atacarse (más) los unos a los otros es perpetuar la violencia, y yo elegí no vivir la violencia, ni adentro de mí ni afuera. Ya la viví y ya no la quiero ni la acepto.

Entonces la salida es abandonar el barco e irse a otro país? no creo. Somos tantos los buenos, y los que aún tenemos el corazón intacto aún tenemos tanto por construir, que no lo veo necesario, al menos en mi caso. Sigo amando a este país, así haya un alto abstencionismo en las urnas, así haya contiendas políticas, así haya contradictores y bandos por lo que sea (por el fútbol, por manuales, por la política, por la paz), porque creo profundamente que, a pesar de todo, todos queremos la paz.

Hablar de paz es loable, pero no vamos a lograrlo hasta que dejemos de atacar al que no piensa como nosotros, al que se pone la camiseta de otro equipo, al que votó o no, al que votó por el "Sí" o por el "No". No es una cosa de un 2 de Octubre, sino de mirar hacia adentro todos los días, cada hora, cada minuto! Es cuestión de no ejercer la violencia, ni la violencia física, ni la psicológica, ni la pasiva. Es no atacarse en las calles, en el tráfico, en la fila del del Transmilenio, en el restaurante, en la oficina, y en la casa: eso es HACER PAZ.

Es vivir en paz TODOS los días y TODAS las horas. Es pedir perdón si hay que hacerlo, es reparar, es no decir mentiras, es sentir compasión (pero en serio), es meditar y volverse a interior y escuchar qué es lo bueno y por dónde es el camino. Es un asunto de sanar las heridas propias primero (porque todos cargamos dolores, contemos o no), perdonarse a sí mismo, y dejar de ser tan duros con nosotros mismos. Cada vez que se ataca a alguien, sólo lo hace en contra de sí mismo, porque los humanos, de todas las especies, somos la especie espejo por excelencia. Sólo una vez nos tratemos con más amor propio y menos ego, será posible perdonar a los demás, sentir compasión por ellos, y lograr la tolerancia.

Es simple: No  puede haber paz afuera si no hay paz adentro.  Ya es hora de cambiar!

"La No Violencia es el arma de los fuertes"
Mahatma Gandhi.

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The fourth floor - 40th birthday (!!!!)

What does it feel like to become 40 years old?

Well, it feels fantastic!

I always found myself in the middle of friends' gatherings to celebrate when all of us turned 10, then 20, and then 30... and I always heard them ask the same question: "I am turning ___ and what have I really acocomplished in my life?" and I always kept quiet, saying to myself: "well, I do't know about you, but I have accomplished lots of things!"

I have never understood why people feel they haven't accomplished anything when they turn a certain age. I see my family and close friends, and I see them so beautiful and sweet and successful, that I can't help thinking that they are perfect! they are alive, generally healthy, they have their 5 senses intact, and they have reasons to live, and to be thankful to life for that.

This year, for my 40th birthday, I decided to spend my post-birthday weekend with my best friend -like my little sister-, at the beach, to celebrate both our birthdays, actually, only she is muuuch younger than me.

Turning 40 feels to me like starting to know, little by little, how to play the game!
See, there are many advantages about becoming 40!
At 40, you know that your main strength is not your surface, but what is within. And no, I am not just saying this.. it feels great! you start to really-really trust yourself, your experience, and your instinct.

At 40, you already know if you believe in God or not. If you don't believe in God, it's great because you keep everything practical and you speak your mind without reservations; but if you believe in God (or Gods --as in my beloved India--, or whatever you name your version of Divinity), you feel sheltered, stronger, hopeful, and the best of all: it ALL starts to make sense (believe me).

At 40, you already know not only how to make ends meet, but how to make a living, and how to take those paths that will take you to wherever it is you want to go in your professional ladder.

At 40, you change your home, your location, your wardrobe, your hairstyle or even your lifestyle because you feel like it, and you can wear glasses just because you like them (not because you really-really need them), or you change your job just because you don't really-really love it, and because you can afford it.

At 40 (check this out), people actually believe what you say! for some reason, your voice acquires this special charm that makes others listen, not only because of your experience in the matter, but also in life, so try to say somethng smart!

At 40, you know how the art of seduction works, and that is such a relief!! For instance, women no longer need to get some guy's approval, or wear things to look sexy, or say or do things that will attract men (usually the wrong men). They simply attract.  Remember: you don't attract what you want; you attract what you are.

At 40, you can decide whether you'll have kids or not, and very rarely can aaaanyone have a word about that decision, You know how to live your life and well, you either visualize yourself with kids, or not, and you rest assured that if it's meant to be, so shall be. Simple.

At 40, you give yourself 'permission'. Remember that Eat, Pray, Love movie scene in which the Italian guys talk about the expression "Dolce Far Niente"?



... well, you simply decide to give yourself time to do absolutely nothing when you feel like, knowing you assume the consequences with ease. Craving for food? you eat; craving for changes? you change; craving for relaxation? you relax. And the best part: zero guilt.

At 40, you kiiiiind of start to plan what the rest of your life is going to be like, and where you'll travel, and whether you'd prefer to settle down (or not), and whether you'll have a dog or not, and whether you want to own a house or not...

At 40, you already know what to do about your Wanderlust, and what to do about your dreams to travel around the world! You check the places in the world (on that world map you once bought) where you've been, and those where you don't want to die without visiting. You've been all over in your country, and seen, say, fragments of 17 countries around the world, you've tasted weird food, heard strange languages, grayed hair over stress when facing ordeals abroad, and fallen in and out of love in other cities, but you want more, much more, because that 'you' is someone different in every country! oh.. the world....

At 40, you really-really become aware of a few physical problems that are not about to improve, but you finally decide to face them and start taking care of your health, including that hand cream you know you need after you turned 30, some shoulder pain you have had since you started accumlating bad emotions, and that hip problem you've had since childhood, so you know you must heal inside before your body heals ourside and, luckily, you know how to do it, and to what extent it may heal.

At 40, you realize how fragile parents, friendships and romantic relationships can be, so you act and choose accordingly, and much more wisely.

At 40, you start to keep only those friendships that help you grow as a person (and of course, those who allow you to be that awesome 'silly you' that you love so much).You can already determine who has a toxic behavior, and who should stay in your life. Tough, but healthy.

At 40, you start thinking of a back-up plan in case you get sick of 'that job' you've always had and which you've always loved.. but you never know...

At 40, you are of help to several people, and you understand that service to others is what everyone should do more of. And you actually try to do more service to others,whether it be listening to them,doing them a huge favor, or donating an organ.

At 40, you can start and decline relationships, or stay single, because that's what your heart, body, mind and soul indicate is the best option at the time. At 40, you like yourself so much that you no loger need to feel alone. Aaaaaand-it's-greaaaaat!

At 40, you can talk about pretty much anything! jobs, family, birth control, carreer, money, global warming, politics, religion, nutrition, travel plans, relationships, orgasms, plans, frustrations, obsessions, confessions, medications, meditations, you name it!

At 40, you no longer get offended (ok.. not so offended) by what people say, or if they disagree with you aggressively, because you tend to understand people who have different perspectives, and you can more easily perceive that their reactions come from their own thoughts and emotions... plus you already know how to convince people anyway with your own tricky strategies ;)

At 40, you no longer need to lie, and you can apologize to people if necessary, and mean it. You can tell people (on their face) that  you like them or even lust after them, you can tell your beloved friend Dimitri hoe much you miss him (and love him), you can tell your soulmates that you love them since the first moment you found each other again, and you say it from the bottom of your heart.

At 40, you understand that sometimes, all you can do is pray for those soulmates who you won't be able to see anymore in this lifetime. And you let go, but you know you are eternally connected, so even if it seems like your heart breaks again, you finally understand that love and suffering cannot coexist, and that some kinds of love are, indeed, everlasting.

At 40, you start to understand that you are simply a piece of the game, and destiny will take you where you are meant to be, at the right place, at the right time, under the right circumstances, with the right people --or perhaps you'll be alone, and 'alone' won't necessarily mean 'lonely'.

At 40, you feel that the best part of your life is just starting, because you finally know what you never knew, and you start to appreciate the wisdom that 4 decades have given you.

At 40, you start to speak less, and listen more to your soul, and you start to become aware.

At 40, you are not starting to get old; you are starting to become a 'classic'!


Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Switzerland broke my heart



(How do you start blogging about a place that seems absolutely perfect to the eyes of the rest of the world, but it happens to be a place that broke your heart into a million pieces? How many places, other than India, can do that in one's lifetime?)
Switzerland broke my heart because traveling to a place expecting to love it -- its majestic Alps, its landscapes, and its people -- does not mean actually falling in love with it.

Switzerland broke my heart because it showed me a completely different way of living, impeccably clean spaces, perfectly organized schedules, and hermetically reserved people, and I am not that.
Switzerland broke my heart because of its calm and peace, it's organization, and it's synchronization, and I'm not that.
Switzerland broke my heart because of the tears it caused me, the loneliness it brought about, and the realization of several truths it created.
Switzerland broke my heart because a dog will never become a cat, and a cat will never become a dog.
Switzerland broke my heart because of its deep sea blue eyes, its snow-white soft skin, it's grass-soft golden hair, it's bear-like toe grip, and it's sugar-like sweet voice...
And even though Switzerland broke my heart, all I can feel today is immense gratitude precisely for having broken my heart, for having shaken me, for having awaken me, for having scolded me, for having moved me, for having allowed me to love!!
Because it was Switzerland that allowed me so see what I had to see, that made me miss what I had to miss, and that forced me to start the new life that I had to live.

Kathmandu!


As the sweetest angel predicted once, I would go to Kathmandu, and I would love it!
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I loved its streets, its doors, and its little stores, but most of all, its kind people...
I loved every single breakfast there, since they served me something I love: fried eggs and potatoes! also, it was in Kathmandu that I got used to honey lemon tea every morning, which has kept colds away :)

Bogota, Cartagena, Rome, Stocholm, Kathmandu...they all have something in common: the most beautiful and interesting area is the historical center.
It's not just about visiting thee temples... it's about learning to see the beauty of its dusty streets, it's peole, it's old buildings...
It's about discovering those places that you feel comfortable at, like the Garden of Dreams, in the middle of the city:
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...and rejoicing in the compaly of the sweetest creatures...

Like Anup, my good friend there, who so kindly showed me around, shared meals with me, and even took me at 9:30 p.m. to see some temples, while freezing!!!
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Kathmandu is a place one always will feel one misses somehow...
...like those places where your lover went before you, and you never met...

Mount Everest


How can you get to see the tallest mountain on earth?
Easy! you fly!
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And if you're lucky, you get to meet the pilot, and get a pic in the cabin!
Flying over Mount Everest ws amazing! not only because of my own desire to see the Himalayan range from above, but mostly because it was my best friend, one of my soul mates, who had always died to go, so I went, and he saw it all through my eyes...
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Bangkok,Thailand


Thailand is amazing. Wherever you go, you'll find somehting you like to see, to eat, or to listen to. I would say it's a trip to your senses, something that Latin people like me appreciate a lot.
The first thing to beware of, though, is the drivers, since they have many tricks to scam you, probably worse than those I met in India.
They'll take you anywhere, and pretend their vehicle fails, so you 'wait for them' at some shop (which happens to be a cousin's shop, where you MUST stay for at least 10 minutes, whether you buy or not, or else they'll get into trouble).
The second thing to beware of is the food! there are SO many choices for everyone! you may gain a few pounds, since many things are fried, but really worth it, whether ver or non-veg.
The third (and last) thing to beware of is...shopping! if you're in Bangkok on a weekend, you'll be tempted to go to the biggest open air market: the fantastic Chatuchak weekend market!!! they sell literally everything! jut remember this: if it's clothes you're buying, the male and female sizes don't get to "L" or "XL"... everything is XS - M !! I don't understand how they manage to stay thin with all that delicious food!
I stayed at a great hostel in the middle of the historical area in Bangkok, which made it easy for me to walk everywhere, not without enjoying a local drink, of course...
...or looking at the beauty of the impeccable streets...
Staying there allowed me to see most of the temples I wanted to see...
...the To Wat Po, and its Buddhas, whose hands remind people to stop fighting...
...and the magnificent Reclining Buddha!

It was incredible! everything is so embellished! so shiny! so .. much!

And as people say, you can't go to Thailand without paying a short visit to the Floating Market, right?
Somehow, I didn't feel like buying aaaanything... it looked much more calm than once you are there, and the sellers insist on selling, and the tourists insist on taking pictures, so I went, I did my tour, and I left.
Back to Bangkok, and as the clock was ticking, I had to say goodbye to such amazing, diverse city, one where Western people feel free, and where Bhuddists feel connected to their temples, not to mention some of the best sunsets of my life...

Pokhara and Chitwan - Nepal


From Kathmandu I took a bus to Pokhara, to see the lakes. I was super lucky to have a good seat companion, an Australian girl who, to me, looked like Nicole Kidman --she even told me many people had told her about her resemblance with the actress! Well, after a long trip, we made it to Pokhara, and naturally, she wanted beer, so I kiiind of had to join her :) For no particular reason, I wanted to see all Pokhara, so I chose three different hotels to see every corner... the first one was very close to the bus terminal, close to the famous Pokhara lakes I wanted to see so much...
The second hotel was at the farthest end, where the lakes 'start', and my hotel happened to be the coldest place at night. The funny thing was when you wanted to use the restroom at night, because that meant going downstairs, jumping a fence with a lock in it, and literally freezing your butt! (no, no pic of this, hehehehe).
The thirsd hotel was right in the middle of the town, so great for walking to the lakes...
And yes, I know I should have been outside aaaall the time, but somehow, after the hardest part of my volunteering in India, when I got to Pokhara, what my body needed then was to rest and to liiiie down and reaaad...so that's what I did when the days were too cold: I would 'watch' some old movies on TV, order some cheese pizza, drink some juice, and lie down to read and read for hours. It was heaven! Here's a nice story: at the first hotel I ran into Javier Moro's book: Pasión India, one of the books one could 'borrow'....but I was SO into this book, that I could not put it down until I finished it... in Chitwan! where I respectfully returned it ... just at a different hotel, but to my defense, I stress that I did return it, to the same kind of place, in the same country :)
The wait had been worth it: seeing the magnificent Pokhara lake, day after day, made my week!
From Pokhara, I had the chance to either go back to Kathmandu, or make a stop at Chitwan...
Chitwan was very pretty! lots of land decorated by yellow floweres, little huts made of hay, and beautiful children wearing their traditional clothes, which protected from the cold at night. Smiley kids! I stayed at the Butterfly Hotel, very nice place!
Of course, once in Chitwan, there was no time to waste, so I did what one was expected to do: look for elephants! not that I like-like riding animals, but once in Rome.... I met a girl who spoke Spanish because of her mom, who was from Panama, so all we did was laugh from the beginning until the end, because th guides kept telling us we would see all kinds of wild animals and it wasn't until the jungle became veeeery quiet that we heard a rhyno, and we actually got scared! again, only to burst in laughter like little kids again! One thing is sure, though: that was one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen on top of an elephant!
Chitwan ...that one unforgettable experience...